3 Reasons You Don’t Stick To Your Plans & How To Overcome Them
If you achieve all the goals you’ve got in your mind right now, where will you be in a year from now?
What will your life look like on a day to day basis? How will you feel on the inside? What experiences will you get the chance to have? What adventures will you go on? What are your hobbies? How will the people around you react to you?
I want you to really sit and think about this. Immerse yourself.
These visuals are probably not unfamiliar to you. You’ve daydreamed them before, maybe even to music that’s become the soundtrack to your best life.
It feels amazing, doesn’t it? You see yourself free – without that heavy weight in your chest anymore. Living moment to moment with no negative feelings from the past getting in your way. Forgetting what it’s like to beat yourself up on a daily basis.
And you know exactly how to get that life. You know the actions. You know the steps you need to take.
If you haven’t already noticed by now, knowing exactly how to get to your best life isn’t enough. You’ve got to actually do the steps.
But you don’t. And each day you don’t, a little part of you turns on you. It stops respecting you. It turns into a voice that tells you “I knew you never had it in you all along”. Eventually, all those little parts become so loud and just so convincing that you subconsciously make it your inner guru.
So if not taking action is costing you so much, then why is it so hard to just get moving? Why is it so hard to stay self-motivated when we feel the negative effects so clearly?
Here are the 3 top reasons we don’t take action towards our goals every single day.
To some extent, we all have a perfectionist streak, don’t we? When we start, we want to start. Diet starts tomorrow. Blogging starts tomorrow. “From tomorrow onwards, I’ll apply for every job I see”.
Big steps, respectable steps. You feel so good while making these goals that you don’t really pay attention to the voice at the back of your head saying “Yeah right, you’re going to stick to that? I’ll give it 2 days. 5 days tops.”. The voice holds you to your past mistakes. It doesn’t respect you. But instead of tackling it head on, you just ignore it. And what happens when you do that? You subconsciously start being afraid of failing. Of making a mistake. Of giving in to weakness even one time. Because if you do, you’ll feel embarrassed. And that voice thrives on embarrassment. “Yeah see, I told you. You never really had it in you. If you listened to me you would never have to feel like what you’re feeling now. You know all I want to do is take care of you, right?”. Who wants to go through that?
Not trying at all might have some serious negative effects. But these are negative effects you’re familiar with. Experiencing embarrassment that you’re not used to… Who wouldn’t be afraid?
The Fix: Sit down, drink a cup of tea, and call out for that voice. Pull it out of wherever it’s hiding and make it listen to what you’re about to say. And that is… “Perfectionism is a trap”. Being scrappy and adaptive are the essential qualities that dictate if you’re a top performer or someone who is stuck to their routine and always dreaming for more.
While it may seem like successful people just seem like perfectionists who are able to show up everyday and take action, what you don’t realize is that what got them there is the ability to take hits, losses, mistakes, screw ups, moments of weakness, and still keep going. And when you do that enough, taking action becomes habit, and that’s when you start looking like a perfectionist.
2. Limiting Beliefs
Remember that little voice at the back of your head? Everything that it says is basically a limiting belief.
“You won’t be able to do that”
“Can’t you remember failing before? You’re not good at learning your lesson.”
“Be realistic. You just aren’t cut out for this type of thing”.
But here’s the thing. This voice isn’t the only one that gives you limiting beliefs. You do. In fact, you give yourself more limiting beliefs than it does.
“I’m just not that type of person, you know?”
“I’m just a foodie/homebody/shy person/introvert”
“I’m not as X as that other person”
“I just have a lot of commitments”
“I just can’t say no to myself”
“I’m just very emotional”
“I just don’t like selling and I’m not good at it”
“I’m not the kind of person who enjoys small talk”
They’re beliefs that let you feel excused for not taking action. And here’s the thing girl, they are going to be the end of you.
If you don’t work to face them head on, they will eat you up alive gradually and subtly. Manifesting in the form of laziness, envy, imposter syndrome, and a slew of other issues that will cost you your entire life.
The Fix: Once again, sit down, get some tea, and this time, write down all the limiting beliefs you think you have. For each one, write down all the ways you have used it as a crutch for inaction. Once you’re done, recognize that most people don’t naturally have successful traits.
Those people you look up to, what makes you think they’re not introverts? Or that they aren’t emotional? Or that they enjoy selling? They just don’t let those things be grounds for not taking action. In fact, they let those things be the driver for growth. In the minds of people who succeed, “I don’t like small talk” becomes “How can I learn to have fun with small talk”. “I’m just very emotional” becomes “How can I learn to be more in control of my emotions?”
3. The Reality Of Success
So picture this. You see something on social media and immediately get hit with a burst of motivation. You visualize what your best life would look like, and just like that, you proceed to knock off 3 items from your to-do list.
Embarrassment or limiting beliefs don’t seem to be getting in your way, so everything’s looking good. But then you go on to work on that 1 pesky item in your to-do list that’s just really, really hard to do. It’s boring, not fun, or just plain uncomfortable. Maybe it’s prepping your food for the week even though you had a long day at work. Or maybe it’s a sales call. Or pitching for a client that intimidates you.
Nah. Not today. Maybe another time. You walk away with a bad taste in your mouth, and all your momentum vanishes. What just happened?
You just got bored and disappointed with the reality of success.
You’ve heard it before. Achieving your dreams is not going to be easy. But you didn’t internalise it. You visualized your best life in detail, but you didn’t factor in the hard work, the obstacles, the failures you need to overcome.
You want your best life because it’s supposed to feel amazing. You’ve got health, freedom, wealth, and love. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. In fact, it’s probably going to be way more work than what you’re doing now.
The Fix: You know the drill. Sit down, get some tea, and write down all the potential obstacles that could come up in the process of reaching your goals. Look up stories written by other people who have embarked on the journey you’re on. Learn what they experienced. Be prepared for what’s about to come.
Your best life is going to feel uncomfortable at first. Whether it’s losing the comfort of being able to binge on junk food when you’re having a bad week. Or losing that security of a stable income. Reaching your goals isn’t going to feel warm and fuzzy. It’s going to be hard and exciting. So make sure you’re ready for discomfort.
Well there you have it. The top 3 reasons we all sabotage ourselves in pursuit of our best life. Sometimes it’s almost astounding how much inner work needs to be done to achieve our goals.
We fool ourselves thinking that all we need is a robust plan of action when in reality that is only 50% of the equation. I hope these tips help you discover the mental patterns that prevent you from being productive and working towards your goals everyday.
Ps. If you’ve been struggling with inaction and feel trapped to your habits despite years of trying, come hop on a free strategy call with me. We’ll walk through your exact issues, discover your hidden sticking points, and draw out a plan on how you can finally reach your biggest goals.