How to stop getting overpowered in conversations
Why do you often find yourself overpowered in conversations with people who have more “dominating” personalities? Where you feel cornered so you drop pushing for your ideas and settle for an underwhelming middle-ground or just go along with whatever they wanted.
Think about having meetings with your boss or that one teammate that you just can’t get through to. Hell, I know that you even have some family and friends that come to mind right now.
You probably think it’s because of your introverted and quiet nature, right? That you just need to be more loud and headstrong.
In fact, trying to mimic their intensity is going to make things worse and escalate your discussions to a fight because that’s NOT who you are. You’re probably going to feel like crap while doing it as well.
What’s really happening is that they are exhibiting traits that you prevented yourself from developing because you classify them as “bad”. These intense traits feel so foreign to you, that it triggers your feelings of being attacked and instinct to withdraw.
You classify these traits as “bad” because you grew up experiencing them expressed in a toxic way. Parents who were firm and headstrong to control you with their strict beliefs of what’s right and wrong. Kids in school who unapologetically vocalized how they thought they were the best and shunned you for not being “cool” enough.
And guess what happens? A huge part of your personality develops just to OPPOSE those “bad” traits. You’re overly-understanding to the point of not validating your point of view. You’re overly doubtful of yourself just to make sure you don’t come off as arrogant. You’ve dropped your stance and been the “bigger person” way more often that you should have.
You need to identify these traits that you have subconsciously marked as “bad” and remove the stigma you’ve put on them so you can develop them in a way that aligns with you. This way, you your mind doesn’t get triggered when you experience them and you’ll respond with your own natural assertiveness instead. This is something that I most certainly help with.
Using a combination of hypnosis and a technique called personality mapping, I help you uncover these traits you’ve subconsciously stigmatized, reframe the way you perceive them, and show you exactly how much of you and your beliefs has developed in direct response to them. After we do this, I’ll be giving you specific action steps to take and you’ll naturally find yourself developing these traits in your own unique way, because you know how it’ll fit in your “map”.
But there’s one more piece to the puzzle that will make you an assertive introverted communicator. The part most people tend to miss.
You also need to learn how to identify the traits that trigger the person you are talking to. Because if you feel cornered in a conversation, they are most likely negatively reacting to the things that you do as well – Even if they’re doing it with a smile on their face. For that, you need to have a system to analyze the words they say, how they say it, and the motivations that drive them so that you know how to navigate the conversation smoothly.
Using the same personality mapping technique we used to uncover your triggers, you’ll learn how to apply them to the people around you.
Teaching you this system is part of the primary work I do in my 8 week anxiety to leadership transformational program. I help you identify the subconscious triggers of your anxiety, develop your natural assertiveness, and learn how to uncover the triggers in others so that you can confidently lead conversations. So if you’re ready to finally outgrow your lifetime patterns of anxiety, self-doubt, and self-minimizing behavior, book a call with me and we’ll see if we’re a good fit for working together.