Asha Jacob
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toxic cycles

Underrated Skills: How To Break Out Of Toxic Cycles & Stop Making The Same Mistakes

Most of us are honestly quite terrible at learning from our mistakes. We like to think that we’re pretty good at it. But in reality, we suck big time. We…

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    About Me

    Hi! I'm Asha. I help sensitive introverts break out of social anxiety & avoidant patterns, become naturally assertive and outgoing, and take bold action in their career.

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    Ah, that annoying glass ceiling we all hit after y Ah, that annoying glass ceiling we all hit after years of working on our anxiety. You just KNOW you have so much more in you but you just can't seem to tap into that potential you have. You still don't have that diamond-tough self-esteem and boldness to take action and speak your mind. How do we break past through this and get the transformational result we're working so hard for? It's time to go deeper with these 3 things: Working to uncover the roots of your anxiety, dealing with the subconscious, and following a structured plan with a proven strategy. Almost every effective program/coach will have these 3 things covered. So if you're looking to take that next step to overcome your lifetime patterns of anxiety and self-doubt, make sure to check that these things are part of that plan. And of course, you can rest assured knowing that they're part of my 8 week program that's designed to help introverted professionals overcome anxiety and find their natural assertiveness. If you've been resonating with my work and ready to take the next step, book a call with me with the link in my bio to see if we'd be a good fit for working together.
    As you all know, the primary method I use to help As you all know, the primary method I use to help others overcome anxiety and find deep self-assurance is through helping them find the roots of their self-sabotaging traits and showing them how it's affected who they are today. Uncovering these roots might seem inconsequential to someone looking from the outside, but doing it has done absolute wonders for me and my clients. It becomes proof to us that our unhealthy traits are merely learned behavior. Tinted glasses that skew our perceptions of who we are and the world around us. We realize that it's not in our DNA. We have the power to take those glasses off. But in order to take those glasses off, we need to truly understand these roots and how they influence who we are today. You'd be surprised to see how much of your personality, beliefs, and behavior exists as a protective mechanism against the trauma/wounding you went through in your formative years. Sometimes, even your strengths today are as a result of the pain you experienced. Taking these glasses off does not mean that we disown these roots. It means we consciously transform the protective mechanisms to ones that support us. Interestingly enough, while it seems like a daunting task that seems incredibly hard, I've found that everyone I've worked with has the strength and courage to do it - with the right push and guidance. We are so much more capable than we realize. If you'd like to uncover those roots, dismantle those unhealthy protective mechanisms, and overcome anxiety for good, book a short call with me to see if you'd be a good fit for my 8 week intensive program. Link in bio.
    If you struggle with anxiety, stop trusting your g If you struggle with anxiety, stop trusting your gut feelings! Before you get your pitchforks out, hear me out: What about when your gut feelings make you feel like your brilliant ideas are mediocre? Or that your indispensable value is second-rate? Or that your conversations are underwhelming? Anxiety skews your gut feelings against you. Ever find yourself saying "Everyone says this is great, but I just don't feel like it is."? Bingo. But I also preach to listen to your feelings as they'll always lead you the right way - how does that work? Simply put, the feelings I'm talking about are the ones right at your core. But think of anxiety creating this surface layer of feelings that propagate toxic narratives. It's not as difficult to access your core feelings as you might think. You just need to learn how to tell apart core feelings from surface layer feelings. We do that by walking through your early years, mapping out the narratives you've picked up over your life, and learning the surface layer feelings they create. It's a method that's got my clients objectively seeing themselves and acknowledging their worth within weeks of working together. So if you'd like to overcome anxiety and start feeling absolutely confident & self-assured, book a call with me. Link in bio.
    Honestly, forget the mushy overly-positive everyth Honestly, forget the mushy overly-positive everything's going to be alright attitude. One of the most rewarding skills my clients develop that has helped them overcome anxiety and become absolutely confident leaders is that they learned how to be angry. Yup, you read that right. Before working together, they'd snap at mild inconveniences and regret it later. But when talking about atrocities and incredibly rude behavior they've experienced, they just gloss over it almost apologetically. Anger is the part of you that looks out for yourself, so misplaced anger like this is a glaring symptom of a poor self-esteem. Developing healthy anger is key in overcoming social anxiety as you learn to trust in your instinct that you're being disrespected, instead of self-blaming constantly. The first step you need to take is to walk through your life experience, particularly your childhood, and identify experiences that you've been conditioned to dismiss. This is part of the work we do in my 8 week program that helps introverted senior professionals overcome social anxiety so that they can feel deeply self-assured and find their natural leadership. If you're interested to learn about how it works and see if it's a good fit for you, book a call with me with the link in the bio!
    Social anxiety causes you to engage in a ton of mi Social anxiety causes you to engage in a ton of minimizing behavior. Behavior that gets you looked over, overworked, and often mistreated. You lose professional opportunities, fail to develop meaningful relationships with the people you work with, take 10x longer to get things done, and fail to reach your actual potential as your anxiety constantly dampens your unique abilities. In short, it sucks, big time. Yet it’s so prevalent in today’s work culture and so few actually recognise the severity of the problem enough to do something about it. They just slave away, riddled with anxiety, hoping that time will bring about positive change. But that almost never happens. Now I know it’s seems all gloomy, but it’s actually 100% possible to solve this. It involves getting to the roots of your anxiety, uncovering coping mechanisms and bias tendencies, and learning how to effectively analyze and communicate with the people around you, which is the primary work that I do in my 8 week program. So if you'd like to overcome anxiety in the workplace and find your natural leadership, book a short call with me to find out if my program will be the right fit for you. Link in bio.
    I used to think that the reason I struggled to con I used to think that the reason I struggled to confidently socialize and lead others was because of how different I am. The way I think, what I like, and what I'm sensitive to felt completely out of the norm. I felt destined to be an outsider. Turns out, all my clients feel the same. Here's the real kicker though, that's not actually the reason why you're struggling with social anxiety and low confidence. Yes, you are different, but so are most people. You'd be surprised to know that even the most confident person you know feels different and misunderstood in a lot of ways. So what's the deal? It's actually quite simple: You've not mapped yourself out clearly and you don't have a system on how to map others out. I know you've already done an extensive amount of self-work, but without an effective framework that gets to the roots of your anxiety while teaching you how to analyze others, you're going to find yourself "managing" your anxiety instead of thriving and becoming the leader you know you can be. Helping introverted professionals effectively map themselves and others out so they can overcome social anxiety and find their natural leadership is what I do in my 8 week program. If you're interested in learning about the program, book a call with me in the comments.
    How did you feel when you realized that nothing wa How did you feel when you realized that nothing was wrong with you - you're just an introvert!⁣ ⁣ I bet you felt relieved. And along with that feeing of validation and empowerment, you started noticing just how many things things exist just for introverts! Communities, self-books, office meeting structures, leadership styles, and so much more.⁣ ⁣ Turns out being an introvert wasn't a bad thing at all, it's just a different ball game with it's own strengths. It isn't even uncommon, it's just the nature of being "quiet" meant that it wasn't easy to find.⁣ ⁣ Similarly, when you struggle with social anxiety and a low self-confidence despite being amazing at what you do and having seemingly no reason to feel that way, it's because there's a feeling deep in you that something is wrong with you.⁣ ⁣ Everyone seems to have it easier than you, you're just more sensitive, you're too reserved, whatever it is... That's just not true. It just looks that way because these attributes aren't easy to spot on others.⁣ ⁣ In order to overcome social anxiety and confidently step into leadership, you need to learn your inner workings, recognize its unique strengths and understand just how many there are that are similar to you. You'll be surprised at how you're strong and different, not broken and misplaced.
    People are so much more capable than they're given People are so much more capable than they're given credit for.⁣ ⁣ I've had so many clients come to me after even decades of therapy didn't help with their social anxiety. Yet within weeks of working together, they go from unassertive and unsure of themselves to confidently speaking up at work and jumping onto bigger roles as their self-worth skyrockets.⁣ ⁣ So what's the magic in my approach?⁣ ⁣ Traditionally, you go in the room, tell the expert your problem, they scribble down important details about you, and then give you solutions based off their comprehensive analysis of you (which you never get to see.) ⁣ Here's what I do: I give YOU that comprehensive analysis of you and then guide you to find your own solutions.⁣ ⁣ That's it.⁣ ⁣ Whenever you see my clients' insane transformations in such a short time, it's because I flipped the script and made THEM the expert on themselves, not me.⁣ ⁣ When given the map of how they function, people know exactly what to do with it to grow.⁣ ⁣ Which is why it's damn near impossible to achieve the same incredible results using traditional methods. It's assumed you won't know what to do with it.⁣ ⁣ If you'd like to work together to overcome social anxiety, find your natural assertiveness, and step into leadership, send me a DM to learn about working together in my 8 week program.
    Excuse me in the corner here smiling like an idiot Excuse me in the corner here smiling like an idiot. I recently asked previous clients for a New Year update to see how they're doing since it's been some weeks/months since we worked together.⁣ ⁣ I talk a lot about results like getting offered leadership positions but I rarely mention the phenomenal results they achieve in other parts of their life. Honestly, so many of them can be argued as having way more impact than a new role.⁣ ⁣ Here's some of their fantastic achievements:⁣ ⁣ • Finding radical self-acceptance and loving her differences (After spending years feeling like she had to work hard to be normal)⁣ • Getting back to dancing after a hiatus of 20 years (After being afraid of even leaving the house)⁣ • Feeling a new level of love and fulfilment in her marriage (After spending years struggling with misunderstanding)⁣ • Started a podcast (After believing she had nothing useful to offer the world)⁣ • Mentoring women who used to be in her position (After struggling with imposter syndrome)⁣ • Started side-projects for multiple streams of income (After thinking she wasn't capable of making more money)⁣ • Going to weekly therapy sessions! (After thinking that she wasn't worth investing into herself)⁣ • Creating friendships with colleagues (After avoiding them like the plague for years)⁣ ⁣ You're entirely capable of making incredible transformations like these without it taking years, just send me a DM about working together :)
    You were the quiet girl in school who was barely n You were the quiet girl in school who was barely noticed and got talked over by her classmates, so it’s no surprise you’ve ended up as the quiet employee who struggles to get her voice respected at work.⁣ ⁣ When we were younger, shy and insecure, we thought that it'll all change when we're an adult and find that magic confidence.⁣ ⁣ Then we grow up and nothing changes. So we think to ourselves that it'll all change once we get more experience.⁣ ⁣ But decades later, it's the same but even worse now BECAUSE of all those years of experience you have. You know EXACTLY what you're talking about. But you still don’t feel respected.⁣ ⁣ You’re still talked over, dismissed, treated as an afterthought.⁣ ⁣ Your anxiety and lack of confidence is a pattern that is weaved into your personality. A pattern configured to make you feel small and constantly second guess yourself.⁣ ⁣ If you don't identify, dismantle and replace that pattern with one that empowers you, no amount of experience and praise will make you confident or treated the way you KNOW you should be treated.⁣ ⁣ Helping introverted women break out of that pattern and finally find that magic confidence they’ve been searching for is exactly what I do in my 8 week private program.⁣ ⁣ DM me for details, or follow the link in the bio.
    I know this feels counterintuitive, but you have a I know this feels counterintuitive, but you have anxiety because you have innate gifts, not because you lack them.⁣ ⁣ You may feel like you're disadvantaged just for being you. That you're emotionally turbulent while others seem to have a natural confidence and thick skin.⁣ ⁣ You struggle with anxiety, while other people seem to effortlessly KNOW what they want and what they're doing.⁣ ⁣ You put in SO much effort just to feel normal.⁣ ⁣ Let me tell you: absolutely nothing is wrong with you.⁣ ⁣ In fact, it's quite the opposite. You have innate gifts that others DON'T have. Gifts that allow you to see, feel, and think more deeply and uniquely than anyone around you. I guarantee it.⁣ ⁣ I've seen it in ALL my clients. I'm sure I'll see it with you too.⁣ But as the cliché goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Without knowing how to manage these gifts, you end up overwhelmed and anxious.⁣ ⁣ The hypersensitive one who overreacts. Always viewed as having ‘issues’.⁣ ⁣ All you need is to understand these gifts and learn how to navigate them. Once you do, you'll be more confident and empowered than you believe is possible.⁣ ⁣ And as always, if you'd like to overcome your anxiety, tap into your gifts, and finally be recognized for your unique leadership, DM me to learn about my private program.
    Honestly, my biggest takeaway from 2020 is to be b Honestly, my biggest takeaway from 2020 is to be bold and unapologetically go after the things you really want. Any sense of comfort or normalcy can be gone in a moment, and life is just too damn short to live for "One day...". ⁣ ⁣ I'd require more than a couple lifetimes if I were to only do things when it felt "right".⁣ ⁣ I took risks, started some projects, failed some projects, invested a ton into my coaching business, helped change the lives of several amazing folks, hired great coaches, met a couple of people who didn't really like me, started a youtube channel, started working out consistently, and the list goes on...⁣ ⁣ And I've grown so much because of it. ⁣ ⁣ Seriously, things are wild out here. We don't have time to feel small and be afraid. We never did. So stop putting your growth in the back-burner and give it your all to grow into the person you know you can become.⁣ ⁣ So write that book, take that class, start that side project, hire that coach, try out painting, have that uncomfortable conversation you've been putting off for ages! ⁣ ⁣ You'll be all the more happier because of it, and a pile of regret for never having made the first step at all. It's a no brainer.
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