Asha Jacob
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toxic cycles

Underrated Skills: How To Break Out Of Toxic Cycles & Stop Making The Same Mistakes

Most of us are honestly quite terrible at learning from our mistakes. We like to think that we’re pretty good at it. But in reality, we suck big time. We…

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    About Me

    Hi! I'm Asha. I help sensitive introverts break out of social anxiety & avoidant patterns, become naturally assertive and outgoing, and take bold action in their career.

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    How did you feel when you realized that nothing wa How did you feel when you realized that nothing was wrong with you - you're just an introvert!⁣ ⁣ I bet you felt relieved. And along with that feeing of validation and empowerment, you started noticing just how many things things exist just for introverts! Communities, self-books, office meeting structures, leadership styles, and so much more.⁣ ⁣ Turns out being an introvert wasn't a bad thing at all, it's just a different ball game with it's own strengths. It isn't even uncommon, it's just the nature of being "quiet" meant that it wasn't easy to find.⁣ ⁣ Similarly, when you struggle with social anxiety and a low self-confidence despite being amazing at what you do and having seemingly no reason to feel that way, it's because there's a feeling deep in you that something is wrong with you.⁣ ⁣ Everyone seems to have it easier than you, you're just more sensitive, you're too reserved, whatever it is... That's just not true. It just looks that way because these attributes aren't easy to spot on others.⁣ ⁣ In order to overcome social anxiety and confidently step into leadership, you need to learn your inner workings, recognize its unique strengths and understand just how many there are that are similar to you. You'll be surprised at how you're strong and different, not broken and misplaced.
    People are so much more capable than they're given People are so much more capable than they're given credit for.⁣ ⁣ I've had so many clients come to me after even decades of therapy didn't help with their social anxiety. Yet within weeks of working together, they go from unassertive and unsure of themselves to confidently speaking up at work and jumping onto bigger roles as their self-worth skyrockets.⁣ ⁣ So what's the magic in my approach?⁣ ⁣ Traditionally, you go in the room, tell the expert your problem, they scribble down important details about you, and then give you solutions based off their comprehensive analysis of you (which you never get to see.) ⁣ Here's what I do: I give YOU that comprehensive analysis of you and then guide you to find your own solutions.⁣ ⁣ That's it.⁣ ⁣ Whenever you see my clients' insane transformations in such a short time, it's because I flipped the script and made THEM the expert on themselves, not me.⁣ ⁣ When given the map of how they function, people know exactly what to do with it to grow.⁣ ⁣ Which is why it's damn near impossible to achieve the same incredible results using traditional methods. It's assumed you won't know what to do with it.⁣ ⁣ If you'd like to work together to overcome social anxiety, find your natural assertiveness, and step into leadership, send me a DM to learn about working together in my 8 week program.
    Excuse me in the corner here smiling like an idiot Excuse me in the corner here smiling like an idiot. I recently asked previous clients for a New Year update to see how they're doing since it's been some weeks/months since we worked together.⁣ ⁣ I talk a lot about results like getting offered leadership positions but I rarely mention the phenomenal results they achieve in other parts of their life. Honestly, so many of them can be argued as having way more impact than a new role.⁣ ⁣ Here's some of their fantastic achievements:⁣ ⁣ • Finding radical self-acceptance and loving her differences (After spending years feeling like she had to work hard to be normal)⁣ • Getting back to dancing after a hiatus of 20 years (After being afraid of even leaving the house)⁣ • Feeling a new level of love and fulfilment in her marriage (After spending years struggling with misunderstanding)⁣ • Started a podcast (After believing she had nothing useful to offer the world)⁣ • Mentoring women who used to be in her position (After struggling with imposter syndrome)⁣ • Started side-projects for multiple streams of income (After thinking she wasn't capable of making more money)⁣ • Going to weekly therapy sessions! (After thinking that she wasn't worth investing into herself)⁣ • Creating friendships with colleagues (After avoiding them like the plague for years)⁣ ⁣ You're entirely capable of making incredible transformations like these without it taking years, just send me a DM about working together :)
    You were the quiet girl in school who was barely n You were the quiet girl in school who was barely noticed and got talked over by her classmates, so it’s no surprise you’ve ended up as the quiet employee who struggles to get her voice respected at work.⁣ ⁣ When we were younger, shy and insecure, we thought that it'll all change when we're an adult and find that magic confidence.⁣ ⁣ Then we grow up and nothing changes. So we think to ourselves that it'll all change once we get more experience.⁣ ⁣ But decades later, it's the same but even worse now BECAUSE of all those years of experience you have. You know EXACTLY what you're talking about. But you still don’t feel respected.⁣ ⁣ You’re still talked over, dismissed, treated as an afterthought.⁣ ⁣ Your anxiety and lack of confidence is a pattern that is weaved into your personality. A pattern configured to make you feel small and constantly second guess yourself.⁣ ⁣ If you don't identify, dismantle and replace that pattern with one that empowers you, no amount of experience and praise will make you confident or treated the way you KNOW you should be treated.⁣ ⁣ Helping introverted women break out of that pattern and finally find that magic confidence they’ve been searching for is exactly what I do in my 8 week private program.⁣ ⁣ DM me for details, or follow the link in the bio.
    I know this feels counterintuitive, but you have a I know this feels counterintuitive, but you have anxiety because you have innate gifts, not because you lack them.⁣ ⁣ You may feel like you're disadvantaged just for being you. That you're emotionally turbulent while others seem to have a natural confidence and thick skin.⁣ ⁣ You struggle with anxiety, while other people seem to effortlessly KNOW what they want and what they're doing.⁣ ⁣ You put in SO much effort just to feel normal.⁣ ⁣ Let me tell you: absolutely nothing is wrong with you.⁣ ⁣ In fact, it's quite the opposite. You have innate gifts that others DON'T have. Gifts that allow you to see, feel, and think more deeply and uniquely than anyone around you. I guarantee it.⁣ ⁣ I've seen it in ALL my clients. I'm sure I'll see it with you too.⁣ But as the cliché goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Without knowing how to manage these gifts, you end up overwhelmed and anxious.⁣ ⁣ The hypersensitive one who overreacts. Always viewed as having ‘issues’.⁣ ⁣ All you need is to understand these gifts and learn how to navigate them. Once you do, you'll be more confident and empowered than you believe is possible.⁣ ⁣ And as always, if you'd like to overcome your anxiety, tap into your gifts, and finally be recognized for your unique leadership, DM me to learn about my private program.
    Honestly, my biggest takeaway from 2020 is to be b Honestly, my biggest takeaway from 2020 is to be bold and unapologetically go after the things you really want. Any sense of comfort or normalcy can be gone in a moment, and life is just too damn short to live for "One day...". ⁣ ⁣ I'd require more than a couple lifetimes if I were to only do things when it felt "right".⁣ ⁣ I took risks, started some projects, failed some projects, invested a ton into my coaching business, helped change the lives of several amazing folks, hired great coaches, met a couple of people who didn't really like me, started a youtube channel, started working out consistently, and the list goes on...⁣ ⁣ And I've grown so much because of it. ⁣ ⁣ Seriously, things are wild out here. We don't have time to feel small and be afraid. We never did. So stop putting your growth in the back-burner and give it your all to grow into the person you know you can become.⁣ ⁣ So write that book, take that class, start that side project, hire that coach, try out painting, have that uncomfortable conversation you've been putting off for ages! ⁣ ⁣ You'll be all the more happier because of it, and a pile of regret for never having made the first step at all. It's a no brainer.
    One of my favourite books is called "From Survivin One of my favourite books is called "From Surviving To Thriving" by Pete Walker.⁣ ⁣ It's a book about how to overcome the debilitating effects of childhood trauma so that you stop living in fear and start living a life you're fulfilled by.⁣ ⁣ While not all of us have experienced childhood trauma, most of us have experienced forms of trauma throughout our life. Those experiences leave a deep mark, creating anxiety and a lack of self-assurance that show up in our day to day life.⁣ ⁣ When women come to work with me, it's because of a negative change in their work life aggravating this anxiety to distressing levels. But after our time together, a LOT more improves apart from their work life.⁣ ⁣ They start enjoying discovering themselves, finding pure joy in the small things, and having an inner fire to pursue MORE.⁣ ⁣ Bigger jobs, new hobbies, and new fire for life.⁣ ⁣ That's because we often don't realize just how much we're surviving instead of thriving. Anxiety masterfully seeps into our inner wiring - influencing everything from the energy we have to the things we desire.⁣ ⁣ When we work together, you'll come in thinking you have a work problem and leave realizing you've spent your life living with a wet blanket on top of your fire.⁣ ⁣ In what ways are you surviving instead of thriving?
    Embrace Your Grey ⚫⁣ ⁣ If you're finally bre Embrace Your Grey ⚫⁣ ⁣ If you're finally break out of anxiety and find that magical confidence you've always been looking for, send me a DM to see your suitability for my Private Anxiety Transformational Program.
    Stop confusing your anxiety for a personality trai Stop confusing your anxiety for a personality trait.⁣ ⁣ You're actually not the meek, shy, reserved person that you think you are.⁣ ⁣ You're bold, outspoken, and have the ability to be a damn good leader.⁣ ⁣ But all of that is clouded because you've developed a poor self-esteem and avoidant behavior as a trauma response.⁣ ⁣ Perhaps you don't see it as trauma, but that's exactly what it is.⁣ ⁣ Every. Single. One of my clients have gone through it and it looks distinctly different for each of them. These traumatic moments are sprinkled throughout their life and reinforces their anxiety and avoidant patterns.⁣ ⁣ If you don't acknowledge your trauma, you're going to keep falling back into patterns of anxiety and have ZERO idea why it exists & why it's not going away. Then you're going to resign yourself to thinking it's just a part of who you are.⁣ ⁣ I’ll say it again: anxiety is NOT a personality trait.⁣ ⁣ All my clients end up quite literally shocked at who they become after just six weeks of working with me.⁣ ⁣ They broke out of their anxiety patterns, but didn't expect to genuinely feel empowered BY who they are.⁣ ⁣ If you're ready to overcome social anxiety and find radical self-acceptance, link to my Private Program is in the comments. DM me if you’d like to discuss your suitability it.
    If you want to start seeing big improvements in yo If you want to start seeing big improvements in your social anxiety & confidence - you HAVE to start targeting the roots of your anxiety instead of sticking only to generic anxiety relieving solutions. Generalized strategies will get you some improvement, but it'll take years and is very similar to putting a bandaid on. It will provide relief but you'll find that your anxiety keeps coming back.⁣ ⁣ Meditation, journalling, cognitive reframing, all great exercises - but they point you to relatively general areas to look at. You need to figure out how to tweak them to target your roots & specific blind spots. That way you'll start seeing big changes in your anxiety & confidence.⁣ ⁣ As you'll hear me say time and time again, your anxiety manifests specifically according to your personality type & life experience. Which is why when someone works with me to overcome their social anxiety the first thing I do in our 1st session is ask them detailed questions about their life, their childhood, family, specific situations where their anxiety is triggered, their darkest moments, & so much more. I often ask them questions that no one else has ever asked before and have them sharing memories that they've never shared before. ⁣ ⁣ That's the only way I can help you uncover the roots of your anxiety... by first knowing who YOU are. ⁣ ⁣ You'd be so surprised at just how much you're capable of when you discover your core & inner wiring. You see your blind spots right in front of you and suddenly feel incredibly empowered to take action. I've even had clients CREATE their own unique anxiety solutions after I showed them their personality structure & patterns in their life experiences. Slow down on the generalised solutions and start focusing on specific solutions that target your roots so you can bloom into the leader you know you are on the inside. ⁣ ⁣ If you want to target the roots of your anxiety and finally see big improvements in your social anxiety in weeks instead of years, check out my 6 week 1:1 Program. It helps sensitive introverts overcome social anxiety so that they can confidently express themselves and create meaningful relationships. Link in bio.
    👉🏽I'm willing to bet right now that you've g 👉🏽I'm willing to bet right now that you've got one toxic person in your life that you've been dealing with for a while. It could be someone at work, a friend, a parent, or a family member. Someone who's frequently disrespectful & condescending to you, makes it basically impossible for you to get your point across to them, and causes your anxiety to go from 0-100 every time you interact with them.⁣ ⁣ It's unfortunate that those who are sensitive and struggle with anxiety tend to deal with toxic people way more than the average person. It's also pretty ironic because they're also way more susceptible to their toxicity than the average person. ⁣ ⁣ But while it's unfortunate, ironic, and downright frustrating... it also makes perfect sense. Your sensitivities cause emotional turbulence while your anxiety makes you conflict avoidant. So basically, to someone who's toxic, you're the perfect target. 🎯 ⁣ 👉🏽I'm also willing to bet that regardless of who this toxic person is, you're also the reserved one at work who often gets their concerns & ideas overlooked and simply isn't treated as much as you're worth despite being fully committed to your job. ⁣ What I'm trying to get at here is that while these issues might be in different facets of your life, they're all connected. This means you shouldn't be working on each individual problem to solve them - that would be incredibly overwhelming, inefficient, and it's probably what you're doing right now. ⁣😨 ⁣ What you should be doing is looking at the patterns in all of them and getting directly to the root issues that cause them. Not only is that MUCH simpler, it also solves all of your issues at one go. This is while you'll hear my clients finally getting treated with respect by management after almost 7 years WHILE finally finding courage to implement boundaries with a toxic family member.⁣🌟 ⁣ Uncovering your patterns and getting to the roots of your anxiety is some of the primary work I do in my 6 Week 1:1 Program. If you're a sensitive introvert who wants to overcome social anxiety and confidently communicate with those around you without spending years having to figure it out yourself, click the link in the bio.
    After spending 4 decades being spoken over, pushed After spending 4 decades being spoken over, pushed around, or simply rudely dismissed in her work environment (often by people who are younger and more junior), my client's finally experiencing what it's like to be respected and have her voice heard at work. All without asking her to project her voice or learn when to interject in a conversation. (Because surprise: You don't actually need to learn that. That's just a symptom of the problem. Once you solve your root issues, those things will come naturally to you. Root issues are very specific to the individual, and it often requires looking through your entire life and spotting key patterns in behavior and belief.) ⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I mean, just imagine how horrible it must have been to realize that years of experience AND doing your job diligently doesn't get you basic respect in the office. It almost felt like she was doomed to be a passive employee for the rest of her work life 😔⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ If you're a sensitive introvert, you'd be surprised to know just how strong of a natural presence you develop when you simply work through hidden childhood narratives and understand your personality structure. I'm always surprised when I work with my clients and hear that they've not touched on any of that in their years of going therapy or counselling. I mean, those are the keys to the temple! Every single time each of my clients have gotten those keys, they naturally know exactly what to do with them. It's like finally switching your old gears out for new ones - you've got to learn how the old gears work first.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ And of course, if you find yourself in a similar position: Struggling with social anxiety, avoidant to conflcit, and being pushed around in the workplace despite being damn good at what you do, 1:1 program might be exactly what you're looking for. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ It's unlike any other program or method that I've come across on the topic of anxiety. The growth and empowerment that my clients experience over the 6 weeks of working together has often been proven to be several times more than what they've experienced over years of doing it on their own, or going to therapy.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ All the program details are in the link in bio.
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